Transactional Analysis Therapy

I am a trained Psychotherapist in the modality of Transactional Analysis. I work with neurodivergent clients. Therapy is a separate service to coaching, although there is some overlap. However, transactional analysis psychotherapy is more focused on:

Guiding the client through processing their past (trauma, anxiety etc)
Helping them understand the way their experiences shaped their view of themselves and the world
Explore coping mechanisms to help them manage mental health challenges, as well as anxiety and stress in the moment

I regularly work with clients who have rejection sensitive dysphoria, identity questions, self esteem challenges, emotional dysregulation and communication differences.

How I Work with Transactional Analysis Therapy

I use Transactional Analysis Therapy as a relational and reflective way of working, shaped around the person rather than a fixed process. This approach supports awareness of patterns, emotional responses, and communication, while keeping the work grounded in everyday life. Sessions focus on understanding how past experiences continue to influence the present, without losing sight of what feels manageable now.

In practice, this means paying close attention to how someone relates to themselves and others. Therapy explores internal dialogue, emotional reactions, and repeated relational patterns in a way that feels respectful and paced. I work collaboratively, checking in regularly about what feels helpful and what needs adjusting as the work develops.

For neurodivergent clients, this approach can offer space to reflect without judgement. Transactional analysis allows room to notice learned responses, coping strategies, and internal rules, while staying curious rather than critical. The focus is not on correcting behaviour, but on understanding why certain responses exist and what they protect.

Sessions often involve gentle exploration of experiences, alongside practical reflection on current challenges. There is space to talk about identity, emotional regulation, communication, and relationships, as well as moments of overwhelm or self-doubt. The therapeutic relationship itself is part of the work, offering consistency, clarity, and openness.

This way of working supports insight over time, rather than quick solutions. It encourages choice, self-awareness, and the ability to respond with more flexibility. Therapy develops at a pace that feels sustainable, with attention to safety, trust, and mutual understanding throughout the process.

What Is Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy?

Transactional analysis (TA) is a method of analysing human behaviour and communication patterns based on three ego states: the Parent, the Adult, and the Child. It can be applied to neurodivergent thinking styles by understanding how these ego states manifest in individuals with varying neurodiversity.

Parent Ego state: In Transactional Analysis, the Parent ego state represents the internalized messages from early authority figures such as parents, caregivers, and teachers. In the context of neurodiversity, parents of neurodivergent children may have internalized societal norms and beliefs about neurological differences being a deficit or a disorder. This could negatively impact the self-esteem and self-perception of neurodivergent individuals. Understanding this can help in creating a supportive environment that promotes positive self-image and outlook.

Child ego state: The Child ego state in Transactional Analysis represents the spontaneous and emotional part of the personality that emerges when an individual is in an uncritical and free environment. In the context of neurodiversity, this can be a positive trait as some neurodivergent individuals may have a more creative and imaginative thinking style. However, it can also lead to challenges such as difficulty in regulating emotions or engaging in social interactions. Understanding this can help in creating a supportive environment that encourages creativity and helps individuals develop the skills necessary to interact with others.

Adult ego state: The Adult ego state in Transactional Analysis represents the rational and logical part of the mind. Understanding this can help neurodivergent individuals harness their cognitive abilities and use their unique thinking style to their advantage. TA can be used to help individuals identify and manage their thoughts and emotions and encourage a growth mindset that focuses on strengths rather than limits.

Applying TA to neurodiversity can help in better understanding and supporting individuals with varying neurodivergent thinking styles. It can help identify the root causes of behavioural patterns and offer insight into effective interventions and therapies.

The Martin Wells model of ego states in transactional analysis describes three distinct and interrelated states of consciousness that individuals often cycle through during their interactions with others: the Parent, Adult, and Child ego states.

The Parent ego state reflects the unconscious programming individuals receive from authority figures, such as parents, teachers, or other significant adults in their lives. This state can be nurturing or critical and can both reinforce and challenge individual beliefs.

The Child ego state represents the individual’s inner world and emotional experiences, including feelings of vulnerability, fear, playfulness, and joy. It can be divided into two sub-states: the Free Child, which represents spontaneity and creativity, and the Adapted Child, which represents behaviour learned from others and patterns of thinking and feeling that in some ways reflect a purchased identity.

The Adult ego state represents the rational, objective, and logical thinking processes individuals use to navigate the world. When this state is in charge, individuals can respond objectively and productively to situations while remaining flexible and adaptable to new information.

The Martin Wells model posits that individuals in different ego states will interact with each other in predictable ways. For instance, Parent-to-Child interactions can be nurturing and supportive or critical and shaming, while Adult-to-Adult interactions involve mutual respect and problem-solving. Transitions between ego states can be smooth, or rapid state shifts, called “ego state transactions,” which often create stress or hidden conflicts that can lead to communication breakdowns.

Overall, this model highlights the importance of awareness of one’s and others’ ego states in honing interpersonal communication skills, as well as in clinical psychotherapy, to help individuals gain insight into their own patterns of behaviour and interactions with others.

Transactional Analysis in Practice, Not Just Theory

Transactional analysis can sound complex when described in theoretical terms, but the work itself is often very grounded. In sessions, the focus is on noticing patterns as they show up in real life, rather than analysing concepts in isolation. Transactional Analysis Therapy offers a way to make sense of reactions, emotions, and communication without placing blame or judgement.

Rather than labelling behaviour as right or wrong, the work looks at how responses developed and what they may be protecting. This can be especially helpful when long-standing habits no longer feel useful but still feel hard to change. Understanding these patterns can bring relief, clarity, and more choice in how situations are handled.

This approach is sometimes described as an analysis therapy, because it invites reflection on internal dialogue and relational dynamics. That reflection happens at a pace that feels manageable, with attention to what feels safe to explore. Sessions remain rooted in the present, even when past experiences are part of the conversation.

In practice, this might involve noticing how certain situations trigger strong emotional responses. It may include reflecting on how communication styles affect relationships at work or home. Over time, this awareness can support more flexible responses and a stronger sense of agency.
The aim is not to stay in theory, but to use understanding to support change. Transactional analysis helps connect insight with everyday experience, so awareness can translate into practical shifts that feel realistic and sustainable.

'Contracting' & Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy

Contracting is an important element in Transactional Analysis. It’s the framework of how we agree to work together. Effective contracting can improve communication and relationships and this can affect positive change. It is important not to rush in and to consider who contracting are between. As well as whether each has capacity and awareness and it is ethical, legal, jointly agreed and for mutual gain. If done well, this ‘working alliance’ can create a subtle, unspoken bond to facilitate change and a space for interaction can be created to keep each party from serious harm whilst encouraging enough delving to create disturbance, as this is essential for growth. Constant re-contracting is valuable in order to avoid assumptions and allow for ruptures to be openly addressed and repaired. By keeping contracting fluid and staying mindful of requirements for effective contracting, the quality of the interaction can be improved and deepened. Within this space, life transforming therapy can take place and to keep prioritising the contracting process is fundamental to the therapeutic relationship.

The Basic Philosophies of Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy

People are OK.
Everyone has the capacity to think.
Individuals decide their own destiny.
These decisions can be changed.

Other important principles are that positive regard and mutual respect should be held. There should also be acknowledgment of the basic values of dignity, independent thinking. The ethical principles of: respect and commitment in relationship should be upheld and here should be support and encouragement of personal choice as well as cooperation and social responsibility. Finally, there should be an and acknowledgement of the principle of self determination.

Theory of Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy

Ego States

The theory is that there are three ego states. They are Parent, Adult and Child. These states make up individual thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We interact with ourselves and each other from these states so understanding them can help us understand ourselves, others and the world.

Eric Berne originally used more judgemental language to name the Structuring Parent the Critical Parent. This was later modified to the Controlling Parent. Similarly, he named the Natural Child the Free Child. You will hear Transactional Analysis practitioners using all these terms so should understand them yourself.

If we are transacting with someone using one of these modes, it will be observable and it will influence their response. We will often adopt these functional modes without awareness. You may find that, with awareness, you could use any of these modes when you have something to say:

Try saying the following statements from each of the five modes of the Functional Ego State Model:

“I don’t know how to do this”

“Will you help me?”

“Where is my shirt?”

Positive and Negative Aspects of Functional Ego States

Each functional mode of behaving has positive and negative aspects. In the here and now, different circumstances sometimes require specific functional modes.

In an emergency, what functional ego state do would you want a firefighter to use?

Too much of the positive aspect of a functional mode can soon become negative.

Structuring Parent: Too much structuring can become bossy
Nurturing Parent: Too much nurturing can become smothering
Adult: Too much factual accounting can become dry and dull
Natural Child: Too much playfulness can become reckless
Adapted Child: Too much cooperativeness can become submissive

Integrative Approach in Transactional Analysis

History

The preliminary ideas of integrative psychotherapy were first outlined by Richard Erskine in 1972 in lectures at the University of Illinois. Erskine went on to develop these ideas, along with Rebecca Trauttman and Janet Moursund throughout the 80’s and 90’s.

We focus on the integration of 4 primary aspects of human functioning:

Cognitive: Mental processes –Why does our mind work the way it does?
Behavioural: What is the specific problem, what needs to change?
Affective: How does a person feel? How each individual emotionally experiences what happened.

A 4^th element – Physiological, the body level, is seen as integral to all 3 aspects.

Another foundation is Contact, as this is seen as the primary motivating behaviour for human beings.

‘Contact is simultaneously internal and external: It involves the full awareness of sensations, feelings, needs, sensorimotor activity, thought and memories that occur within an individual and a shift to full awareness of external events as registered by each of the sensory organs. With full internal and external contact, experiences are continually integrated…..when a need arises, is met, and is let go, the person moves on to the next experience.

When contact is disrupted, however, needs are not met. [NB external contact may be disrupted, and it may be that this can be managed via internal contact] If the experience of need arousal is not closed naturally, it must find an artificial closure [a forced closure in the service of survival]. These artificial closures are the substance of reactions and decisions that may become fixated. They involve discounting of the self.

Relationship

Integrative Transactional Analysis, drawing on theories of human development, emphasises that the sense of self and self esteem emerge out of contact in relationship. Healing is seen as taking place in relationship, as the original wounds came from failures in relationship.

‘The sense of self and the sense of relatedness that develop, seem crucial to the process of healing, particularly when there have been specific traumas in the client’s life, and to the process of integration and wholeness when aspects of the self have been disavowed or denied because of the failures in relationship.’

‘By looking at the client simultaneously from the perspective of what a child needs and how she or he processes experiences as well as in terms of these being ongoing life processes, we use our self in a directed way to assist the process of developing and integrating.’

Why Transactional Analysis Therapy Suits Neurodivergent Adults

For many neurodivergent adults, therapy needs to feel clear, respectful, and collaborative. Transactional Analysis Therapy offers a way of working that supports understanding without pathologising differences. It allows space to explore experiences at a pace that feels manageable, while keeping choice and agency central.

This way of working can be especially helpful for people who have spent years masking or adapting to expectations that did not fit. Therapy focuses on recognising learned patterns and internal messages, rather than trying to change core aspects of identity. The emphasis stays on awareness, understanding, and self-acceptance.

Transactional analysis can support neurodivergent adults in areas such as:

● Noticing internal dialogue shaped by past experiences

● Understanding emotional responses and regulation challenges

● Exploring communication differences and relationship patterns

● Reflecting on identity, self-esteem, and sense of autonomy

● Responding to stress, rejection sensitivity, or overwhelm

The structure of this work can feel containing without being rigid. Ideas are explored together and revisited when useful, rather than followed in a fixed order. This flexibility allows therapy to adjust as needs change over time.

For neurodivergent clients, the therapeutic relationship itself is an important part of the work. Attention is given to trust, clarity, and mutual understanding, so sessions feel safe enough to explore difficult experiences.

Progress develops through insight and choice, rather than pressure to meet external expectations.